finally.
ahhhh... the deadly calm.
the following is a list of things i've won throughout the course of my lifetime:
Had a bad day again
maybe if my dad wasn't such a jackass i woulnd't be so close to tears right now.
i am so incredibly ridiculously crazy in love. i have never felt this way before in my life. i honestly don't think i'll feel this way ever again.
i'm singing (screeching) at the top of my lungs and it feels damned good.
awards ceremony day. o joy o joy. what does the ever fantabulous and wonderful colie win???
Convo o' the day!!!
Funny quote o' the day!
convo of the day
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
damned computer finally let me log onto my blog. i was moronic and set my internet security settings too high for my own damned good. I couldn't even log into my UPS Cascade account, which is ridiculous cuz i could log onto my UPS webmail account. Go figure.
anyhoo. i feel so much better now. I haven't had a bad day like that in so long, i think i may have kinda needed it. does that even make any sense? sometimes i just feel the need to be depressed in my own little world so that i can get it over with and out of my system.
Graduation is on thursday. just when i get used to the notion of graduating this year i have to get used to graduating this week. Crazy craziness. i don't even know what i'm thinking right now. i took my graduation portrait last week, and that still hasn't even sunk in yet. i'm GRADUATING. high school is officially over. this is so strange. i never thought this would actually happen to me.
i can't believe i survived.
mused colieCat at 11:09 PM
prepare thy-selves
mused colieCat at 11:40 PM
a pair of binoculars that now belong to my father
a bag of jelly beans in a raffle
mused colieCat at 11:28 PM
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said I'm sorry I
I had a bad day again
She spilled her coffee broke a shoelace
Smeared the lipstick on her face
Slammed the door and said I'm sorry I
I had a bad day again
And she swears there's nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on
And had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said I'm sorry I
I had a bad day again
And she swears theres nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up, and puts me on
Whoa and I had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said I'm sorry I
I had a bad day again
She left a note and said I'm sorry I
I had a bad day......
-Fuel, Bad Day
mused colieCat at 11:11 PM
maybe if he understood that i've had a bad day, and i'm not taking it out on him: i'm just being honest about how i feel so i don't lash out.
maybe if he realized that the world doesn't revolve around him and his self-involved whims.
maybe then i wouldn't be so fucking grounded.
maybe if he realized how close i am to cutting again.
maybe if he realized how much i needed him before now, and how little i need him now .
maybe if he realized that i'm fully capable of standing on my own feet if given half a chance.
maybe if i realized that i don't have to say LOL when i'm really crying.
maybe if i realized that my effexor isn't a miracle drug, only a hope.
maybe if i learned to call somebody when i need help.
maybe if people were home when i called.
maybe if something inside of me was so radically different that i didn't have to deal with all of the dissapointments of being me.
or maybe if being me wasn't dissapointing.
mused colieCat at 11:07 PM
kev: i love you with all my heart, you mean more than the world to me. you always will.
mused colieCat at 6:46 PM
i need a record contract dammit.
mused colieCat at 4:37 PM
a whole lot of nothing.
and dog crap on her boot.
mused colieCat at 12:07 PM
once again, kudos to the miraculous Lulu
Dahl420: i take no liability for my actions
LlamasRockMySox: you're a blonde, you don't have to
Dahl420: oh yeah thats right...duh...totally forgot
mused colieCat at 12:50 AM
I am an imaginary number
1i
I don't really exist
_
this quiz by orsa
mused colieCat at 11:50 PM
Your ideal mate is Bobby Drake. With his innocent
sweetness and his boyish good looks, how can
any girl go wrong? He's the type of guy to
supply you with all the TLC that you can
handle, and he'll always be there for you when
you need moral support, or just a shoulder to
cry on. Though he is still young, he lacks the
experiences of life, and can be naive.
Who Is Your Ideal X-Men 2 Mate? (ladies only)
brought to you by Quizilla
yay, he's a cutie (not as cute as kev!)
mused colieCat at 11:37 PM
go paco, go parco, go go go parco...
StoicSpoon: i like to be talked dirty to by small candies
mused colieCat at 11:23 PM
kudos to the ever amazing and wonderful Lulu
Dahl420: ever wonder what happened to the pied piper?
LlamasRockMySox: nope, can't say i did
Dahl420: thats what happens when you are famous
Dahl420: fame is so fickle
LlamasRockMySox: tis true
Dahl420: poor guy
LlamasRockMySox: yeah, it's really sad
Dahl420: probably is a raging alcoholic in fresno
LlamasRockMySox: almost like michael jackson...
mused colieCat at 11:20 PM
Disorder Rating Paranoid: Moderate Schizoid: Low Schizotypal: High Antisocial: High Borderline: Very High Histrionic: High Narcissistic: Moderate Avoidant: High Dependent: Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
mused colieCat at 12:32 PM
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:Level Score Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Low Level 2 (Lustful) High Level 3 (Gluttonous) High Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Low Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Very High Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) Extreme Level 7 (Violent) Extreme Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) High Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) High
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
mused colieCat at 12:21 PM
When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why
Because
the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.
I wont worry my life away.
-Jason Mraz
mused colieCat at 12:28 AM
feel free to buy me just about anything
Go make your next choice be your best choice
well as for now i'm gonna hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder
Convo of the day!
for all of you ghost people who read my blog, sign somethign dammit!!!!
Convo of the day!!!
i'm in that kinda crazy singing place again....
if i didn't know better, i'd think the movement started in the '90s....
i suck at guitar, i suck at guitar....
mused colieCat at 11:08 PM
And if you're looking for a boy with a voice, well baby I'm single
Are you in the mood for some dude, are you in the mood to be subdued
Or would you rather just mingle?
Let's get set then to go then and let us jet set we'll be like the jetsons
You can be Jane my wife. Should I marry Jane tonight?
I would if I could. I'd do most anything spontaneously.
-Jason Mraz
mused colieCat at 10:41 PM
how you're making out
but as for me, i wish that i was anywhere with anyone
making out
your hair is everywhere
screaming infidelities
and taking it's wear
your hair, it's everywhere
screaming infidelities
and taking it's wear
your hair is everywhere...
-dashboard confessionals
mused colieCat at 10:37 PM
... ok, so it's more like a witty one liner but that's beside the point
Dahl420: you are my new jesus
mused colieCat at 12:49 PM
apparently you read this, so let me know it, i feel alone unloved and unread.
jeezoids.
mused colieCat at 1:25 AM
Silverklacik: yer such a wierdo.
LlamasRockMySox: yup
LlamasRockMySox: sure am
LlamasRockMySox: aint it wonderful????
Silverklacik: yeah i like it.
LlamasRockMySox: cool beans
LlamasRockMySox: cuz it would kinda suck if you didnt'
Silverklacik: id say its a nice change of pace, but ever since i started talking to ppl going to ups next year.. its really not
mused colieCat at 12:58 AM
there will be a rush on ear plugs
mused colieCat at 5:21 PM
The Onion:'90s Punk Decries Punks of Today
mused colieCat at 4:45 PM
by the way: i suck at guitar.
it pisses me off: i do pretty well in the beggining, and then i inevitably hit some sort of brick wall (it could be concrete, i'm really not that sure, all i know is it's damned hard)
Oscar said i had talent a while ago, because i pick stuff up pretty fast, but it's hard when you're teaching yourself, cuz i just have to figure out if i'm doing something wrong or not by ear. man... my father is such a cheap ass... i know i could learn to play if i had one or two lessons in the beggining just to teach me the basics. i could teach myself from there on out, i mean, i taught myself how to read tabs and shit, it's not that hard. i don't even want to be that good, i just wanna be able to play, maybe come up with some melodies for songs i've written. that's all.
man o man...
mused colieCat at 4:33 PM
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